


Hearts Once Cold

by Etheriei



Category: Saving Hope
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-10 08:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11687532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etheriei/pseuds/Etheriei
Summary: Maggie meets the Katz family.  (More ANGST)





	1. Exhaustion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decided to not give you a teaser as to why the angst is present because I’m just mean like that…. Sorry.. not sorry, lol I just feel like making things worse for us Lintz fans and breaking more hearts..  
> Not sure how many chapters but this couldn't fit in my Lintz Short stories so it has become it's own story complete with chapters. Adding a Charlie Harris tag as I'm not quite sure who or what will be in this story. Might have to add more tags as it goes. who knows.
> 
> Hope you like it... even if just a little bit.

_Not to have felt pain is not to have been human_

It was just another normal day back at Hope Zion. This such “normal day” included a few hiccups in my rather empty schedule After what seemed like a lifetime I had finally managed to put all thoughts of Sydney out of my mind and everyday life. So far it was working and even though I was lonely I was indeed focusing on myself and work and that was all that mattered. I had hoped to have an easy day filled with only checkups and appointments but alas an hour before my shift should have ended I got a call from a distraught sounding Alex who begged me to stand in for her in one of her surgeries. She pleaded with me unsuccessfully. It wasn’t until she said she would pay me that I agreed. I had been ready to go home and knock myself out. There was no way I was doing her a favour like that for free… even though we were best friends it was just too much to ask for. I demanded a Hagen Daas ice-cream on top of the sufficient amount she agreed upon and off I went to scrub in to her surgery. Three hours later and we were finally suturing the wound and finishing up. I was dead tired and only wanted the warm comforts of my bed.

 

An ice cream would be nice though.. Hmm I would have to pester Alex about that delicious Hagen Daas tomorrow, I thought, as I hurriedly washed and dried my hands before leaving the operating theatre. The assistants were just not being fast enough with taking off my outer protective coverings.

Finally I was free of the heavy layers and out I walked.

 

I walked out feeling as exhausted as a paramedic who had done two shifts in a row. Technically I guess that’s exactly what I had done but on a much greater scale. Operations were not fun stuff and were always left severely high strung nerves to deal with later.

 

This particular one was no exception. I hurriedly ran to the lift and all but slammed my fingers onto the first floor button. I planned to make a quick retreat to the locker room, retrieve myself and get out as soon as possible.

I had made it halfway to the lockers. IT was looming in front of me when I felt a hand wrap around my arm and my body (which was in no way stopping) was jerked backwards. I looked behind me with a thoroughly annoyed expression only to see two people that I had no recognition of. Maybe they were an older patient or relatives of a patient that she had never met. But I had no time for this.

 

I turned around and tried to cross my arms but wasn’t so successful in this regards. The hand was still holding onto my own arm so I had no way of escaping and its presence made my folded arms feel awkward.

 

The man was an older man who had a steely gaze and a snow white beard but his grip was in no way feeble. Neither was his general appearance.

 

 I let out an annoyed grunt and waited for an explanation for this unwanted intrusion in my early evening.

 

The man cleared his throat briefly but didn’t let go of my arm.

 

“You are Maggie, are you not?”

I eyed him up once and then twice.

 

 A woman appeared from behind this large man while I was deciding whether I should answer that question.

 

She had a head covering which immediately signaled warning bells in my brain. My heart unconsciously started to beat faster. I tried to ignore this sudden reaction and focused rather on the people before me one of which was still holding onto my arm. It was beginning to hurt…. Just a little.

 

“Yes, I am Dr. Maggie Lin. How can I help you?” I tried to keep my annoyance out of my inflections and tone . These were patients or family of a patient at the very least. I had to treat them well even if it was the end of my long overdue shift and I was nearing zombie mode.

 

“Have you heard from Sydney”

 

My heart immediately did a loop in my chest. The speeding increased. I hadn’t heard that name in two and a half years. But now hearing it again brought it all back front and center. The ache of heart break, the longing for something (or someone) that I couldn’t have.

 

I stood up taller trying to ignore the erratic leaps that my heart seemed to be enjoying putting me through.

“No, not in a long while” She observed the two humans in front of her. Either they were Sydney’s parents or some distant relatives. I was rooting for the latter. How could someone who had felt such hate for their own daughter now be asking about them? They would probably never back down.

 

I remembered how I had tried to force Sydney to talk about it to me but she had point black refused and it was just a moot point.

The woman moved closer to the man’s side and gently took his hand in her own. She said something in a language I did not understand.

 

It seemed like I would finally be left alone but just then I heard my phone ringing from inside my locker. The man reluctantly let go of my hand. He seemed incredibly pained to do so. I thought it strange but rushed to my locker and pulled out my phone.

 

I stared at the screen. The number was an international number and I had no idea where it was coming from. The added code was in no way familiar to me. To add to the confusion I saw that this same number had called me 10 times unsuccessfully. I hurriedly pressed the green button and turned around to stared right back into the stern white bearded man and his very sad looking wife. I huffed silently and answered the call.

 

“Hello”

“Hi”

 The voice on the other end of the line had a very thick accent. One that didn’t practice the English language as much as I was used to.

 

“Are you Maggie Lin”

“Yes, that is I.” I found myself staring at the couple before me. Wondering why they were still here and almost forgot that I was supposed to be talking to someone.

“Ok, that is great news. We have been trying to get hold of you the whole day. We hope that it is not at a bad time right now what with the time difference.”

“Ah yes, it’s no problem at all. I have just finished my shift. Is there a problem? An old patient or something?”

 

The guy on the other end of the line paused for a brief minute or two. He seemed at a loss for words.. That or he didn’t know how to say what he had to say next.

 

“Ok, So there is no easy way in saying this. You were the emergency contact of a patient we admitted in earlier this morning.”

 

I felt my heart sink a few feet under and time seemed to slow down . No, it seemed to freeze over.

 

Sydney.. Sydney was hurt. The ache I had tried to hide and smother so desperately returned now at full force. It didn’t seem to matter at the irony that I was her emergency contact instead of her girlfriend. That was a worry that had no standing next to the imminent threat of losing Sydney forever.

 

“Is it Sydney Katz” I said through gritted teeth. I felt my hands get clammy and a tiny bead of perspiration drip down my forehead. I hope the two people in front of me hadn’t notice my sudden change of behavior or general appearance. If they had it would only complicate matters. At the mention of Sydney, the woman’s eyes became large and the man’s face went white.

 

“Yes, I am sorry to say it is. She was involved in a head on collision. She is in a critical state. Previously we managed to get hold of her parents but they slammed the phone down and told us that she was not their daughter. You were actually the first person on her contact list. When we couldn’t get in touch with you we tried other means.”

I gripped the phone harder and couldn’t help the glares that I threw in the older couple’s direction. They were somehow related in this whole mess. I was honestly beginning to think that they were indeed Sydney’s parents and now had come running out to find out what happened after feeling guilty and immensely disappointed in themselves. That wasn’t my problem though.

 

My heart felt like it was drying up. My throat felt like it was on fire and I could feel my eyes burning up.

 

“We need to discuss her options”

The man tried to be kind but he obviously was on a tough schedule himself.

“Is it that….” I found I had lost my voice for a few seconds and finally managed to croak out “that bad?”

“Yes, we don’t even know if she will make it through the night. It was a horrendous accident with multiple people being wounded.” He said sadly.

 

“Uh, ok. Uhm I will get on a flight as soon as possible” I squeaked out.

“I am sorry to bear such bad news. I wish it was not so” He said something about the name of the hospital before saying goodbye.

I hurriedly wrote it down and then because I couldn’t fake it any longer and needed to get to a place where I could cry without constraint, I mumbled a goodbye and ended the call.

 

A few seconds and my life was in turmoil yet again but this time I felt this pulsing emptiness in my core and ache to be near her again. Being out of her life I had somehow managed to survive but losing her completely I knew would crush me. And her it might just happen.

 

I sighed and tried to put some courage and hope into my step. I moved forward but walked right into an outstretched hand.

 

“Look I know we have done many things wrong in our lives. But she is our daughter. We deserve to know what’s wrong. Please tell use” The man gruffly asked. He had a look of sorrow in his eyes that made me feel sorry for him but then I remembered the broken Sydney that had come running to me those years ago and anger flared in my bones.

 

“You had your chance and you blew it. Now get out of my way!” I had no time and had no time to fake friendliness to people that did not deserve it.

 

The woman spoke up now. Her voice reminded me of Sydney and it only inflicted more pain on the seeping wound of worry that had now taken abode in my heart and soul.

 

“Please, Please” She begged somewhat convincingly and then clutched onto my blouse and fell on her knees weeping. She was a broken women. And I couldn’t help but feel pity on her.

 

“Fine, she is in a critical state. I am going to see if I can get a ticket there as soon as possible.”

I pulled out my phone and started looking for flights. It would be best if I could get one tonight if at all possible. I would have to ask Alex to sort out my emergency leave and all that horrible admin stuff.

 

The woman grabbed my hand and looked me straight in the eye when I looked down at her.

“Let us come with you.”

My initial reaction to such a request was one of horror. I couldn’t imagine going there with someone who supposedly had hated Sydney especially for the reasons that they did.

“We know you and Sydney were close. We were not blind to her happy countenance and incessant talk about a certain Maggie. We know who you are to her.”

 

I just chuckled to myself at this. “I am nothing but a friend to her.”

The mother just looked at me and smiled. She looked at me with a look as if she knew something that I didn’t know. “You are more than just a friend to Sydney.”

 

I looked back at the man who was standing nearby with an extremely pained expression on his face. They both seemed genuine but I couldn’t help but not trust them.

“Why should I let you come along? Who knows, you might kill her before she dies naturally just to speed up the process so you can just hold a real shiva for her.”

 

I immediately regretted my words as I beheld the look of extreme pain and hurt on both of their faces. I felt like a horrible person and looked from the one to the other wondering how I could make things just a little bit better as I couldn’t take back the words that I had said.

 

Sydney’s mother looked up at me with tears in her eyes and it was then that I broke. I immediately dropped to the floor and pulled her into an embrace. Her body racked with grief and regret.

 

“Ok, you can come. But I am leaving tonight”

“Thank you Maggie” She mumbled into my shoulder.

 

“Thank you so much, I will see about tickets” Sydney father said while kneeling down and gently patting my back.

 

“It’s ok. I will pay for them.”

No, No. There is no way that you will pay for them. Just wait here I will sort them out” and he left without his wife who was still holding tightly to my blouse and still letting wet tears dampen material on my shoulder.

 

Let’s go somewhere else more private or someplace less busy?” I suggested. I just wanted to get out of the limelight that might erupt if we stayed there much longer. I pulled her up and we walked together into an abandoned room in the nearby ward. I lead her to the bed in the middle of the room and told her I would be back with some coffee. I knew for a fact that I was in great need of a double even triple espresso just to be able to get through this all without breaking down. My emotions were in a truly frail state and my heart was still hiding deep within its self-made crevice. The deep ache ever there and constantly reminding me of Sydney and the possibility of losing her for good.

 

I practically ran to the staff room and nearly poured hot water directly onto my hand. Just then Zach came in. I hoped he would not notice me but of course he did and was soon right alongside me helping me to pour and make the coffee and espresso shots.

 

“Maggie?” He said sternly while handing me a spoon to stir the coffee.

“Yeah” I tried to sound normal and not like how I was feeling. (Walking on ice with a crevice of a black hole under the ice just waiting to engulf me)

“What’s up? You are not yourself.”

I thought about lying but why should I. Also I needed as many allies back at Hope Zion to speak on my behalf once my emergency departure had spread.

“It’s Sydney. She is in an ICU ward or for all I know worse somewhere in Israel.”

 

Strong arms immediately wrapped themselves around me and I allowed myself to be pulled into his hug. I didn’t want to break down but how was I supposed to stop dike from breaking when it was practically overflowing. I let myself go for only a few minutes and then straightened myself up and pulled myself out of his arms.

 

He smiled at me and gently took my hands in his own.

 

“It’s going to be ok Maggie. She is a fighter!”

 

I gulped back the tears that were threatening to reappear.

“I hope so or I might die of a broken heart” I mumbled and picked up my extra cup of coffee and was about to pick up the other cup when Zach took it.

 

“Here, I’ll walk you to wherever you are going.”

 

“You don’t have to.” I said trying to take the cup back.

“Yes, I do Maggie. You are my friend and you could do with some help. I wouldn’t want those beautiful hands of yours to get burnt with this coffee would I?”

 

I smiled to myself and gratefully accepted his help.

 

We walked in silence till we were almost at the door of the room I had been in earlier.

 

“Do you have a tickets yet?” He said while opening the door for me.

“No, but hopefully soon. Oh by the way, Sydney’s parents are coming along.”

I said trying to sound nonchalant.

 

“They what?” he looked at me with wide, shocked eyes.  


“It’s ok I will keep them in line. They seem to be really repentant of their actions and by the way the mother is inside. Just so you know.” I whispered the last bit and walked in.

 

“Ah”

 

Zach followed me in shortly and walked over to where a figure was huddled in the corner of the room. He pretended to not notice the loud sobs as he tapped her shoulder gently.

 

“Some coffee” Zach said when Syds mother looked up at him.

 

“Thank you so much, kind sir” she tried to reach for the mug but Zach just tut tutted.

 

“It’s too hot, let it cool for a bit. Anyway, I have rounds to do in the ER. I wish you a safe trip and for Syds speedy recovery” He gently lay his hand on the older woman’s back and then walked off.

 

The room was soon enveloped in silence for the longest time.

Maggie had stolen Dawn’s gigantic cup so as to get as much caffeine as possible and was now only halfway through when the door reopened and in walked Sydney’s father.

 

He was beaming and had a self-satisfied look on his face even though I could see through this to his unknown worry and concern for his elder daughter.

 

“I got us tickets. We have to leave now though. There is a taxi waiting outside to take us to the airport.” He said while kneeling and gently taking his wife’s hand in his own and encouraging her to get up.

 

“Now?” I said. I was shocked. I hadn’t expected the flight search to be that successful. Little did I know that Sydney’s father had payed more than quadruple for our flights just to ensure that we left tonight. We were booked in first class. It wasn’t until much later when walking into the plane and being directed to the first class cabin that I realized what a price he had payed to secure their early departure. It confirmed that even though it was a hard decision, choosing to let them come with was the right one. They had had a change of heart and were serious about making things right with their daughter at all costs. Who was I to deny them this?

 

We all three hurried to where the cab driver was waiting.

 

Sydney’s dad immediately took the front passenger seat and so I was left to sit in the back seats with Sydney’s mother.

 

I looked out the window as we drove through the familiar sights of the area nearby Hope Zion Hospital. I hoped with all my heart that we would make it in time and that Sydney would fight. I needed her. We needed her. Her parents needed that second chance to make things right. So much depended on Sydney fighting for her life. I closed my eyes and prayed to any god/God that would hear me.

I felt a hand cover my own and even though my initial reaction was to pull away, I let it be.

The cab drive couldn’t deal with the silence of his passengers so he put the radio on. It helped to clear the air of all the somber atmosphere that might have been hovering around us. Finally we arrived at our destination. We climbed out of the taxi feeling maybe just a little bit more hopeful.

 

Sydney’s dad stopped me as I was about to open the airport door.

 

He held out his hand.

“I’m Aaron and this is my wife, Hannah. As you probably know we are Sydney’s parents who to our shame abandoned her when she most needed us”

 

I smiled slightly and shook his hand.

“Hi, I’m Maggie”

They both said in chorus. “We know”

 

I couldn’t help but wonder just how much and what Sydney had rambled about myself in her own home.

 

We all walked with heavy hearts to the check-in counter and since none of us had any baggage to check in, we were off to the boarding gate within seconds. Aaron directed us all through piles of passengers and rude people to the gate that was even now getting ready to close. Most of the passengers were already on board the plane. Just then Maggie heard a call for a Katz and Lin. It seemed they were just on time.

The airport staff hurriedly let us through and apologized as we were rushed into the plane.

 

A kind airhostess directed us to the first class cabin. I started to object and tell her that she was wrong but to no avail. She smiled back at me and handed me my ticket which had first class written on it.

 

I blinked twice and then looked back at Aaron who ignored my furtive glances. I had also got a seat all to myself. There was no other passenger in the seat alongside me.

 

I sighed heavily as I sat down into the more than comfy chair and let myself relax into a deep sleep. It didn’t turn out to be such a wonderful sleep no matter how deep it was though. It was filled with nightmares and sweating and restless tosses and turns on my small airplane “bed”.


	2. Nightmares & Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie Lin and Syds parents arrive in Israel and promptly head to the hospital that Sydney is being treated at......

I awoke in a cold sweat and frantically looked around me at my unfamiliar surroundings. My eyes gradually got accustomed to the less than ideal lighting as the realization of the surroundings set in. The cabin lights were dimmed and most people were enjoying a peaceful nap.

 

Her heart was thrumming loudly in her chest. Her dream had been borderline psychotic. Everything had seemed so real. The sights, the sounds, the smells. Her last memory was in that horrific dream was of holding a sickly pale hand in her own and pleading with the ghost of a person to come back. Her view of her surroundings had panned out before her for her to see that she was in fact at a funeral. The audience were faceless and it all added worry to my already turmoiled heart.

 

I pulled the blanket up over me as I was shivering uncontrollably with a cold sweat dripping down my forehead. It was then that I noticed a figure beside me where before the seat had been empty. I didn’t even get time to register who it was or why they were then when small hands grabbed me and pulled my shaking body close to their own. Gentle hands patted my head and whispered comforting words into my ear.

 

As I held onto this woman’s blouse as if my life depended on it, it occurred to me that this woman was no other than Sydney’s mother, Hannah. Her blouse smelt of the same antique perfume I had only recently come in contact with. I couldn’t let her see me like this and so desperately tried to pull myself out of her embrace. I was somewhat successful and looked everywhere but at Hannah’s face. I was slowly able to control the shaking and the heavy breathing was dying down. I was staring down at the cabin floor when I felt lukewarm hands caress my face and gently direct it so as to look straight into the hazel eyes of Hannah’s.

 

I stared back at her, half frightened and half intimidated. Even though this woman had a softness to her she seemed terrifying to me still.

 

“It’s going to be ok. Sydney will make it”

I stared at her in unbelief. “But she died”

“No, my dear that was just a horrible nightmare that you were having.” She wiped a stray tear that was falling down my cheek and looked at me with nothing but concern.

 

“Come, you are freezing up. We don’t need two people in an ICU ward now do we” She took the blanket from me and ruffled it a bit before laying it back on me and securely tucking me in.

She wiped the beads of sweat that were still daring to show themselves. I smiled warily and said thank you.

 

I couldn’t close my eyes again for fear that the images of the horrible dream would return so I watched Hannah out of the corner of my eyes. She watched me till she was certain that my shaking had stopped before pulling out the in-flight magazine. She browsed through it before muttering some Yiddish and shoving the shiny magazine back into the pouch where she had found it. She got up slowly and walked to where her seat was. I expected that to be the last I would see of her during the flight. So I reached for the mini luggage holder below my seat and pulled out my phone. I browsed to the folder I had refused to delete two years ago and even recently had being extremely offended when Alex had suggested I remove them from my phone. I smiled as I remember the memory of Alex trying to grab my phone from me. She insisted she was only doing myself a favour by removing the pictures. I had been so protective of my phone (and the pictures) and had eventually ran out of the hospital as a defense mechanism. Alex had watched from within the hospital as I sunk down onto the curb of the ER entrance. Her heart had gone out for me but she couldn’t force me anymore. So she had let me be.

 

 Ever since then, my phone was off limits to Alex. I had incorporated a lock password and Alex to this day, hadn’t figured it out. For me, that was an achievement of itself.

 

I stared at the one and only picture I had of Sydney and I together. I had sneaked a photo of us while she was nuzzled up against me in that on call room so long ago. To this day, Sydney didn’t know such a picture even existed.

 

She looked so peaceful lying there. As if she had not a care in the world. No one would have thought that her situation would have been what it was. One who had defied her religions teachings and was engaging in an abominable ‘sin’. An ache of longing and concern awoke in my chest. Silent tears began slipping out. I wiped away my tears and tried to focus on the other pictures as I swiped through them.

 

I heard the shuffling of clothes as someone walked past in the aisle opposite me but ignored them as I stared at the first picture I had taken of Sydney. She was glaring down at one of the assistant doctors who had wrongly administered some drugs. It was an intimidating photo but also a special one for me. I noticed a shadow hovering over the phone and looked up to see Hannah sitting by my side again.

 

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out.

“Ah, Hi” I said nervously. I didn’t know how she would react to me having pictures of her daughter on my phone and didn’t want to share them either. They were mine for my eyes only or so I told myself whenever I looked at them.

 

She just smiled and pulled out an old well worn book. I looked at it with mild interest.

 

“So you have pictures of her?” she didn’t look up at me but just continued reading her book which I now assumed was in fact the Torah.

“Yes, I’m sorry” I mumbled. I didn’t really want to have this conversation let alone apologize for something that wasn’t really wrong.

“You don’t have to apologize to me. Though I don’t agree with Sydney’s decision I see that you care about her immensely. It would only be normal for someone who cares about someone so much to have pictures of them on their phone.” She paused and held her place in the book with a finger and then looked back at me. “Don’t you think?”

 

I gulped as I realized she was asking me.

“Uhm, yeah I guess so” I sighed sadly as I gazed upon a sleeping Sydney again.

“I hope she is not alone” I said before realizing I had opened my mouth again.

“I’m sure she won’t be. I’m too thankful that even when we abandoned her there were people that cared enough to be there for her.” She paused briefly looking up at the ceiling of the airplane before continuing “People like yourself. So I am sure that in Israel she would have some people for her too”

 

I didn’t want to share that she supposedly had a girlfriend there as this might break the incredibly thin ice I was treading with the Katz family.  

So instead I smiled briefly. “I hope so too”

I watched Mrs. Katz as she read and gradually my eyes felt heavier and heavier and eventually closed. This time I fell into a peaceful sleep void of any nightmares or demons.

 

I awoke to a general hussle and bussle around me. People were talking and hurriedly walking out of the cabin. A rather oversized hand luggage almost hit me square in the face if not for quick hands that yanked me out of the way.

 

I mumbled a thank you to my savior and was surprised to see that it was none other than Mr. Aaron Katz. He smiled and the wide grin that now spread across his face, made him look like a friendly Santa Claus.

I got up out of my seat only to be told to sit down again. Apparently we were going to wait till everyone left. I sighed loudly and noticed the airhostess looking at me with a somewhat curious expression.

 

I got up again. I couldn’t wait any longer. I pulled my bag out from its holder and stood up. My legs felt wobbly so my first few steps where rather shaky. I grimaced at the hearty laugh that erupted behind me and resolutely continued. I couldn’t help but notice the way the airhostesses were watching my somewhat clumsy retreat. I supposed they were expecting me to faint at any moment. I was just about to set foot onto the airbridge when I felt an arm entangle itself around my own and another presence on the other side of me. I assumed it was the Katz family so just continued.

 

“You shouldn’t exert yourself too much” said Aaron rather gruffly as we made our way to the nearest taxi rental counter.

 

I huffed at him and pretended to not have heard him. I was startled at the difference between this airport to the one I had only just left behind in Toronto. People dressed a little bit differently. Languages all around me were foreign. A red haired woman caught my eye and I unconsciously felt myself drawn to her. I didn’t notice it but my path had diverted to follow her. I hear my name being called but it sounded strangely muted. It wasn’t until a hand yanked me to somber reality that I awoke from this crazy ‘dream’

 

Mrs. Katz first looked annoyed at my antics but then as she looked at the woman I had been following a grin slowly spread across her moth and soon she was chuckling heartily to herself.

 

Naturally, I was slightly offended.  


“What is so funny?” I asked as we headed to our taxi  that we had managed to hire for the day

She shook her head and smiled at her husband. “Nothing at all, Maggie”

 

“Hmpph” I flopped into the passenger seat at the back.

 

 I listened as they corresponded with the taxi driver. Even though I had no idea what they were saying, it sounded pleasant to my ears. Somewhat like soothing music to calm my aching soul. I had very rarely caught Sydney speaking Yiddish and it was usually when she didn’t know I was near.

 

The feeling of unrest that had settled deep in my whole being was calmed by the gentle luls and tilts of this unknown language. I guessed it was a blessing in disguise that during this whole ordeal I would be surrounding by it.

 

My legs were beginning to ache from sitting in the same position. I was still staring at the strange scenery from behind the taxi window.

 

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” said Hannah observantly.

“Yes, I wish I wasn’t coming here under these circumstances” I nervously played with a button on my handbag.

 

“Yes, so do we all. But at least you don’t have anything to be ashamed of or be guilty about”

 

Oh if only she knew, I thought to myself. Would she treat me differently if she knew that I was partly the reason Sydney had refused to listen to their reason and had come out to her fiancé and refused to continue with the farce?

 

I just had to ask though.

“I do though, I’m sorry I never told Sydney how I really feel about her. And now she is in a hospital in Israel for goodness sakes.” I all but yelled out.

 

I noticed Aaron look back at me and the taxi driver as well. But I focused my attention on Mrs. Hannah Katz. I watched her to see her reaction to this news. At first the expression on her face was slight disdain. Probably something she had grown accustomed to. But then she shook her head as if to clear the harmful thoughts.

She took my hand cautiously. It seemed like she was more afraid I would pull away than anything else.

“We unfortunately did not get the news from Sydney herself but it came via the furious family of Herschel. I feared for our safety and our good name more than for poor Sydney who must have gone through so much. We pushed her out just like we had done Neshama.”

 

I stopped her there. I was curious about one thing. I could tell they were somewhat committed to changing and trying to make things better but I needed the answer to this one thing.

 

“When you got the call about Sydney, why did you still insist that she was not your daughter. And then promptly slam it down.”

 

Hannah looked ashamed as she gazed upon her own hands that were still holding my own.

“I don’t blame you if you don’t believe us, but we never got the call. It was my husband’s brother who answered the call and promptly reacted in a way he thought we would approve of. Little did he know that we had actually had a change of heart and were trying to get in touch with Sydney with what little contacts we still had. So when we arrived home and he told us that a hospital had called saying that it was about Sydney, we knew immediately that we had to come to you.”

 

Her hazel eyes were fill and brimming with unwept tears and emotions. I felt bad for judging them so harshly and so squeezed her hand in a small gesture of comfort.

 

I felt the car slow down to a halt and expected to see a traffic light above us but instead was greeted by the view of a large and looming hospital above us. The only attribute that allowed me to guess correctly what the building was for, was the giant Red Cross sign that stood somewhere up on the who knows what floor of the building.

 

I couldn’t open my door fast enough and almost tripped over my own legs getting out of the taxi. I needed to get to her and to find out what exactly were her casualties and to find out if she was indeed still alive of course. A part of me wanted to ignore the possibility that she had already passed but it was still there. Silently creeping in through any new crack.

 

I ran through the large entrance and headed straight to the information desk.

 

Words tumbled out of my mouth but the woman in front of me just stared at me in confusion. It hadn’t occurred to me that no one would understand English. It also hadn’t occurred to me that I had just jumbled my words all together so that not even an English person would have understood.

 

I tried again but with the same result. I huffed in frustration and prepared to walk out.

 

Aaron and Hannah had just arrived at the desk and asked in more human tones exactly what I had. Well in another language of course.

The secretary immediately got out of her desk and offered to personally escort them to the room.

I was still off on my mission to leave in embarrassment when I heard my name being called. I looked back to see Hannah holding out her hand and a Mr Katz looking at me with a confused expression.

I hurriedly joined them and we were soon off to be with Sydney again. Hopefully.

 

I couldn’t help the butterflies that erupted deep within my stomach. I couldn’t help the nervousness as I felt my hands getting sweaty. I couldn’t help the feeling of dread at what we might find as well.

 

The secretary was hurriedly rushing through long wards and we followed just behind her. We got to the ICU ward and were abruptly stopped by two doctors who looked at us each with concern. The secretary explained that we were family of the patient and had to see her. But the doctors still looked warily at us.

 

I couldn’t take it any longer.

 

“Just tell us what is wrong” I blurted out in perfect English finally.

The secretary looked at me slightly dazed that I could in fact talk and left us alone to get back to her desk job.

 

Both doctors looked at each other and then back at me before deciding to answer me.

“She is in a really unstable condition right now.” Said the eldest of the doctors.

“I don’t care, I need to see her. We need to see her” I corrected myself after seeing the looks of despair from Mr and Mrs Katz.

 

“I’m sorry but we don’t think that now is the best time for a family reunion”

 

“She made it through the night didn’t she?” I choked out

 

“Yes, she did but still she is really frail.”

 

“At least tell me why. I am a doctor. Even though I may not look it.” I declared.

 

“Ok, well then can we talk with you privately?” The doctor who had been silent all along now had opened his mouth. He looked warily at Syds parents.

 

“Ok” I said.

The elder one now motioned me to follow and we all walked into another adjacent room. There were xrays up on the boards and patient files strewed across the only desk in the room.

 

“As a doctor, you will know that we are just using professional terms here. Any ties you have to the patient should for your own sake be overlooked.”

 

His words made me feel slightly nervous and even more anxious for Sydney.

 

With that said he handed me Sydney’s patient files.

 

I stared at the list of injuries that had befallen her. Broken rib, slightly cracked skull, bleeding on the brain, a green line fracture on her jaw, a seriously deep wound on her thigh amongst many abrasions and cuts. The biggest concern to me was the bleeding on the brain and cracked skull. Being one who had survived an injury to the brain, I knew just how feeble Sydney must be right now.

 

I felt my voice slipping away from me.

 

“Our best course of action currently is to see if the bleeding has stopped completely. It restarted right after her last operation but we managed to cull it. Her cuts and wounds have been treated. But as of yet she looks terrible. I don’t think it would be a good idea for her parents to see her like this”

 

She now realized that they had only been forbidden to go in just out of concern for Syds parent’s reaction to how badly she was injured.

 

“Ok” I stuttered out. “But please, I need to see her”

They sized me up once more and then turned to debate among themselves if this was permissible. The sound of Yiddish was a gentle balm even now as my heart beat wildly against my chest.

 

“Alright, but only you.” The elder doctor said as he demanded for the files again.

 

I handed them back quickly and flew out of the room. They followed behind and took Mr. and Mrs. Katz away as I opened the door of the room that Sydney was in.

 

My heart beating faster and my brain worried at what I might see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if this is going as well as I think it is... 
> 
> Thoughts, critique, anything is welcome :)
> 
> *Sorry again for adding to the suspense by ending the chapter where I did... I'll make it up to you later. (hopefully)


	3. Beeping Monitors & Coke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie visits Sydney in the ICU.

As the door shut behind me blowing a cold breeze in its wake, I felt stifled by the smell of antiseptics that rushed through my nostrils. It was so strong that I had to take a step backwards just to acclimatize myself.

I took a few seconds to take in the room and its surrounds.

 

It was rather dark inside and the only light came from a tiny lamp on the bedside table. Colorful lights added a rather morbid feeling as the monitors beeped quietly in the corner of the room where a rather plain hospital bed lay. I took a step forward in the direction of the bed.

 

As I got closer, the shape on the bed got clearer. Her head was bundled up in clean sterile bandages and a stiff neck brace held her head straight. The parts of her face that were visible seemed unrecognizable with all the dark bruised patches and cuts along her nose as well as her severely discoloured jaw.

I froze in place and took a few calming breaths before moving forward again. She looked so small on the hospital bed and so frail. I just wanted to hold her and tell her she would be ok.

 

The beeping of the monitors increased with every footstep I took. I ignored it at first, thinking that it was just my imagination but suddenly the doors opened and in rushed the two doctors of before.

They were at her side in no time and asked me what had happened while frantically checking her stats and vitals.

 

“I” I paused, this was going to sound so weird.

 

They looked back at me confused firstly with Sydney’s rise in stats and my inability to answer them accurately.

“I uhm, just started moving towards her”

 

“Really” said the older doctor while giving Sydney some more morphine for the pain and putting some more sleeping medicine into her drip.

“yeah” I felt weird standing just 2 meters away from the bed. Almost like an outsider.

“Can I come closer?” I cautiously asked. Her monitors had calmed down significantly now.

They said something in Yiddish and motioned me to come nearer.

 

I took a step forward. The beeping continued at a normal rate. I took another step forward and still they were fine. I just needed to take two more and I would be within touching distance of her.

On the fourth step, the monitors flared up and the doctors instantly stalled my approach. They laughed to themselves and then looked back at me.

 

“I think she can’t control it. Your presence makes her nervous”

 

I scrunched my eyebrows up..   “Even…. In sleep?”

 

“Yep, even in sleep.” They were laughing now.

The other doctor was staring down at the charts before turning around to leave.

“I think it would be wise to either make the leap or to just stay there till you leave again.”

 

I grinned sheepishly. I glanced down at Sydney. I could see most of the extent of her injuries now and the Sydney I saw now was in no way the one I remembered. She was so pale. It hurt just to look at her.

 

“How did it happen” I murmured softly not expecting the other doctor to hear my soft question. He seemed too busy filling in some forms and taking notes.

 

“It was a drunk driver. A tourist actually. He came out of it with absolutely no injuries but caused one head on collision and two other cars to crash into each other. At this moment he is being charged with manslaughter.”

 

“Ah, did someone die?” I asked cautiously.

“Yes, two children and a baby. The other adult victims are all in the ICU and Sydney is the worst of them all. We really hope she can pull through.”

 

He glanced once more at the charts and then back at the sleeping form of Sydney before turning around and leaving.   
“Good luck” he said while walking past me.

 

I watched him leave and then turned to look at the monitors then the bed and then Sydney’s ghastly pale hands. I reached out without thinking. The monitor instantly starting beeping loudly. I grabbed her hand anyway though and eventually the beeping subsided. I used this opportunity to close the distance between us.

 

“Hi” I mumbled mostly to myself and squeezed her hand gently. She was so cold. I had to get a blanket but didn’t want to move again in case I had to deal with the case of the beeping monitors again. So I took her hands in mine and gently rubbed them to give her some warmth.

 

She looked peaceful even with all her injuries. I was hovering over her and failed to notice the soft tears escaping my tear ducts. I was staring at the gaping wound in her thigh and didn’t see the flicker of eyelashes and slight movements of her fingers.

I was staring, still trying to diagnose the best treatment for that wound when I felt fingers curl around mine. I pushed it aside as myself imagining things and continued with my diagnosis. I knew that something could have been done better I just wasn’t sure what yet.

 

“Hey”

I jumped in place at the sound of her voice. Had I imagined it too?

 

“Hey” this time it was a little more hoarse and I could tell that this wasn’t a dream. Her throat was so dry. She needed water. I made as if to go and fetch her a drink when a hand clutched onto my own.

 

I hadn’t wanted to face her just yet at least not with her being awake. I cursed myself because after all I hadn’t even got to gently graze my fingers along her face that I had missed so much.

 

“I’m just going to get you something to drink” I said lamely without turning around. A weak tug and I was staring back at her. I couldn’t resist. She was so frail.

 

“Maggie?”

I thought about giving a silly comment but now was no time to be stupid. Syds doctors still weren’t sure if she had the strength to pull through this at all.

“Yeah, that’s me. How are you feeling, Syd?”

A big smile spread across her face and then she was wincing in pain as her jaw protested this sudden movement.

“Hey hey, you can’t smile now Syd. You have to be careful” I told her gently.

 

I reached out and moved a piece of fluff from the bandages from her cheek.

 

“So, why’d you wake up? I saw increasing your dosage”

“I don’t know, I felt this wet drip-drip on my cheek which felt like fire”

I immediately realized it had been me that woke her up and felt extremely guilty.

 

“I’m so sorry. I must have been making too much noise.”

 

She grimaced as another wave of pain ran through her lower body and her jaw protested further from all the talking.

“No, Maggie, you were crying. Where you not?”

She said each word separately so as to save her painful jaw some extra work.

 

“I guess so but shhh. You don’t need to talk. Just rest and get something to drink.” I noticed the call button and quickly pressed it.

 

She was watching me quietly and noticed my nervous fiddling of my fingers. She sighed heavily.

 

“Syd, you have to fight. Please. You have so much going for you.”

 

She looked into my eyes at that moment. I saw regret, pain and doubt all within those green-chestnut eyes.

 

“Do I?”

I laughed at her as if she had said the most outrageous thing ever.

“Why of course Syd, you have a girlfriend”

She weakly put a finger up to protest this.

“Where is she?”

I hadn’t thought about that yet. “Well, I have no idea in the slightest but I am sure she will pitch eventually. It’s only been a day and a half”

“I’m here” I said eventually. This got a reaction. One that might have gone unnoticed to anyone but me. Her eyes shone with hope but then immediately were dimmed with another wave of pain.

 

“And your parents” I said carefully.

 

She looked up at me with horror clearing written all over her side as she held her aching side.  “WHAT?”

“Yes, your parent’s are here.”

“Did they come to finish the job?”

She had said exactly what I had thought myself. It made me feel slightly better about hurting her parent’s feelings yesterday.

 

“No, Syd, they came because they want to be given a second chance.” I took her hands and covered them with my own warm hands. I heard her sudden intake of breath but just took it as a reaction to another pain she had.

“I don’t believe you” She said eventually while looking at our entangled hands.

“Too bad, you will have to see them soon. The doctor insisted that they couldn’t come in though because they were afraid they might be too horrified with what they see.”

 

“Too late for that” she said through gritted teeth.

I sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy for either of them. “Syd, just calm down ok and stop talking.”

 

An orderly walked in and asked me what I needed so I asked for an extra two blankets and some coke.

 

Syd immediately protested the coke but was quieted by another wave of pain. The orderly told me she would be back shortly and left.

 

“Syd, you need some sugar in you. I know you hate the stuff. But just trust me on this”

 

The orderly returned in record time. She handed me the blankets, a cup of coffee and the cup of coke.

Sydney glared at me as I held the latter up for her to drink but eventually took a few sips before pulling away in disgust. I could tell she was trying to pout but it just wasn’t working what with her swollen jaw, so she huffed and turned around so her back was facing me. I ignored all doctors’ protocol as well as the logical side of my brain and pulled myself up onto the bed. It was tiny but it would survive. I wrapped my arms protectively around her cold body and pulled the blankets over her. I felt her body stiffen at my touch but eventually relax again.

 “Maggie?”

“Hmmm”

“I love you” She whispered ever so softly.

I just chuckled to myself. “That’s just the medicine talking Syd. Shhhh, get some sleep”

 

Just for a second I felt her body tense up at my words but then decide against protesting my words as another wave of pain hit her.

“Stay”

“I shall” I planned to stay till she was well and out of the hospital and there was just no way I was moving from my current position. It felt so good to be so close to her again, breathing in her scent and hold her even if it was a really frail version of the Sydney I knew, it was still 100% her.

I fell asleep to her rhythmic breathing. The two of us on the tiny bed wrapped in blankets in a cold unfriendly hospital room. It was the best sleep I had had in many, many weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you you think?   
> I couldn't keep the suspense any longer as it felt too much and it was killing me slowly anyway xD
> 
> Hopefully this chapter is ok :D ENJOY


	4. Unexpected Requests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Syd spend the night sharing a hospital bed. Maggie meets the girlfriend all while Sydney is sleeping.

 

An annoying smell kept on making its way into my nostrils. I was desperately trying to ignore it and continue sleeping. I huddled closer to a very highly dosed Sydney. Sometime in the early hours of the morning she had rolled over, probably with much pain, and was now clutching tightly to my body. Her head was resting against my chest. It wasn’t unconformable but I knew I’d be sorry about joining her in this tiny bed.

 

Tiny beds and I didn’t work too well.

 

I reached out to where Syds beautiful glowing locks should have been only to be greeted by soft gauze. I frowned at this foreign feel. Another waft of that awful hospital smell wafted in and finally was successful in waking me up. I grunted and opened my eyes. I didn’t want to move in case I woke Syd up so I just watched her sleeping.

 

I was content to lay like that till she finally woke up or doctors dragged me out of her room.

 

Even though she was still so deathly pale and looked so frail, Sydney looked peaceful in her sleep. A rebellious tear made its way down my face. I quickly wiped it away. This movement seemed to stir Syd in her sleep. A mumble and a sigh accompanied by a hand resting on my shoulder. It soon slid to a loose position, just hovering above my lower back. 

 

I had got lost in looking at her peaceful face and was sharply brought back to reality by an annoyed clearing of a throat. I tried twisting around to see who it was that had interrupted my dreaming but my position as well as Syds was causing an issue. I turned my neck as far as I could while trying to be ever so still with the rest of my body and was greeted by the sight of a rather pretty woman. I say rather because no one could come up to how I saw Sydney. She was the one I unconsciously judged others against and she was the one I always would say (even though it hurt because she was never around) was the only one for me. This woman was staring at me. I just stared back and gradually the other woman’s stare got more frigid.

 

I couldn’t imagine why she was glaring at me in this manner. It wasn’t like I was doing anything wrong. Though it definitely wasn’t the first time someone had glared daggers into me recently. Hmm my mind got rolling trying to figure out why. And then it hit me… Could this be the girlfriend? That would explain the annoyed stares and daggers I was currently receiving.

 

“Hi” I nervously said as I tried to remove myself from Sydney who seemed to want none of this. She only moved closer.

 

The other woman just stared all the more coldly and took two steps closer.

 

I felt the need to warn her that the position she had found us in was in no part my fault. Well, technically it had been my decision to join her in the bed but it was Sydney who was now clinging to me even in sleep.

 

“She is sleeping” I practically whispered as this woman was now hovering above me.

 

“I see” she said coldly while examining the extent of Sydney’s injuries. “How is she? I can’t believe I only now managed to find out what happened to her. She was silent for a whole three days.”

 

I scrunched up my brow in thought. “But the hospital said that the accident had only occurred two days ago” I questioned.

 

She still hadn’t looked at me since walking up. “We had a fight” was her only response.

 

“Now could you please untangle yourself from my girlfriend?” she demanded. There was no politeness in her tone.

 

I felt uncomfortable and wanted to protest but Sydney did that for me as I pulled away. She just clung on tighter.

I sighed in defeat. “She won’t let me” I glanced down at her sleeping face. She was smiling now. “Look I know you are together but just let this slide. She was in a really bad space. She needs time to heal.”

 

“Are you saying that to heal she needs to sleep in another woman’s arms?” She said coldly while glaring directly at me now. 

 

Ahh, how I wished for the simplicity of relationships with men. This whole thing with Sydney had always been intense. I felt a connection between her and felt I still had a pull on her so this woman coming to claim her in this way just put my walls of rebellion up. If you loved someone, wouldn’t you treat them differently especially after the one has been through a traumatic incident and had no one to turn to for the longest time?

 

“Maybe” I said with defiance written all over my face. “Can’t you see she is happy?” I tried to soften the blow a little bit but was unsuccessful.

 

I watched as she scrawled something onto a piece of paper and then stormed out of the room.

 

I guess that was not going to be the last time I would see her again.

I stretched my left arm out to pick up the paper and brought it closer so that I could read it. Sadly it wasn’t written in English. I sighed.

 

“Jewish people” I muttered under my breath.

 

I guessed correctly that it was a letter for Syds eyes only so quickly put it into my pocket. I would give it to her later when I was confident that she could handle anything.. Whether that be good or bad.

 

A doctor walked in just then. He looked shocked at our position but moved over to where we were without a word of rebuke.

 

“I will need to do a check up and do some tests on her” he said softly.

 

“Ok, but we might need to wake her. She has a case of the clingies” I said while chuckling to myself at my new word.

 

“Hmmm” The other doctor looked thoughtfully to himself. “Do you have any ideas on how to wake her?”

 

I considered his request for a while. I knew Sydney was ticklish but that would probably be a bad idea with all her many injuries and her neck that was still in its brace. Pricking her or poking her would not do either. She was a heavy sleeper. I had an idea but wasn’t sure it would work.

I leaned over her and whispered in her ear ever so quietly “I love you.” At first there was no response but another minute and her eye lids fluttered open.

 

I felt pretty chuffed with myself at being successful in this feat and slowly removed myself from her needy embrace. She was slowly taking in her surroundings. Her eyes roamed around the room and glanced on the doctor and then myself. A soft smile spread on her face. She slowly pulled herself up into a sitting position. I couldn’t help notice the grimace on her face as she stretched her body out. Her body must be hurting everywhere. The doctor was about to protest at her movements but decided against it and started his routine checkup. The test proved hopeful and he assured Maggie (without Syd hearing) that things were already on the mend.

 

I sighed in relief with this latest news as he walked out. I was about to leave myself when I felt eyes looking in my direction. Call it a sixth sense or what but indeed Syd was looking at me when I turned around.

 

She slowly spread her arms out and beckoned me to come closer.

 

I chuckled. “I don’t think that is a good idea. I doubt I will be able to get out again”

 

She pouted ever so slightly and folded her arms.

 

How was I supposed to deny her request when even my heart wanted to give her anything and anyone it desired including itself? So not even a second had gone by and I was walking forward into her “hug”.

As her arms slowly wrapped themselves around my neck I felt myself melt at her touch. I let her hold me for five minutes before I got the feeling that my stomach would revolt and embarrass myself.

“Thank you” she said into my hair but I still heard it.

“For what?” I promptly asked.

A pause for what felt like forever amidst her hand twirling my hair between her fingers.

“For saving me from the awkwardness of a confrontation.”

 

I pulled away and stared at her with wide eyes. Then shook my head in disbelief.

“Do you mean to tell me that you were indeed awake the whole time?” I asked with evident surprise and shock on my face.

 

She looked away. “She will probably hate you for eternity anyway.”

 

“Hey, you still haven’t answered me” I gently touched her chin and brought her face to look back at me.

 

“Yes, I was awake. I am not such a deep sleeper as you believe I am” She smiled with a cheeky grin but then gave up as a shot of pain coursed through her jaw.

 

“No smiling for you Syd.” I said in an all serious tone. “Now, if you don’t mind, I need to go feed this hungry stomach before it embarrasses me again.”

 

She sighed but let me go without protest. I walked towards the door but then turned around and fumbled in my pocket for the letter the girlfriend had left behind. I handed it to Sydney. Her expression reminded me of my brother whenever my mother had force fed him fish. She looked at the letter and then at me. She was silently pleading for me to just keep it but I had to give it to her even if it went against my own desires. I took her hand in mine and opened it gently and dropped the small piece of paper into it and swiftly turned around and left.

 

I heard a wait coming from Sydney but even so I could feel my stomach getting ready to protest its empty state till there was no tomorrow. I had to do this for my own sanity.

 

I was also feeling a little nervous at Sydney’s confession. She had been awake that whole time. She had heard the whole conversation between myself and her girlfriend. But there was one thing that bothered me more. More importantly she had heard my words of love and had only awoken at them. I had said them as a joke. Though I knew I really did love this amazingly strong and talented woman.

 

I almost ran into a nurse as I bee lined straight to the vending machine I had seen earlier. A little kid was staring at one of the items inside. I patiently waited for him to finish choosing and collect his item but as the minutes dragged by, I soon realized he had no money. I knelt down and handed him some of the cash I had quickly managed to exchange. He stared at my hands and then at the chocolate but shook his head. After unsuccessful attempts at getting him to accept the money I finally just put it into the machine and ordered the item I thought he had been looking at. It plonked down through the shaft and waited to be picked up. The little boy just stared at the chocolate.

 

I sighed, I didn’t really have the time or patience for this but still leaned down and picked the chocolate up and handed it to the kid. He looked up at me with a huge grin on his face and then was gone in seconds.

 

I shook my head at the strangeness of the little boy and turned to look at all the options for a quick snack. I knew this was a bad ‘meal’ to be having especially since my last real meal had been plane food. I also had to find the Katz family again. I hadn’t even thought of them since entering Sydney’s hospital room. I felt a tad bit guilty at this realization.

 

My bar one couldn’t have come quicker.

I snatched it up and headed to the information desk while munching on my overly sweet snack. The secretary at the desk was busy on the phone so I patiently waited at the counter for her to finish.

 

I turned around and watched the various patients, nurses and doctors filtering through the entrance hall. The people in Israel certainly had a different mannerism and look about them.

 

“Hi, can I help you” resounded from behind me.

 

A little startled out of my reverie, I turned around to the secretary.

 

“Hi, yes, I came in last night with an older couple, the….”

“The Katz, yes they left you a message.” She held out an envelope for me which I promptly took and thanked her and went to sit down in the waiting area still eating my chocolate.

 

I carefully opened the envelope which revealed a neatly written note.

 

The header read ‘Dear Maggie’. Hmmm things were certainly changing. They wanted to notify me that they had left and managed to book into a nearby hotel. They said they would book me a room and hoped to see Sydney soon. At the prospects of a proper bed and real food, I really wanted to rush there right now but alas poor Sydney. I had to say goodbye till later at least and overcome the little nervous butterflies that appeared as I thought back to last evening when a quiet voice had said that they love me. I had thought she was only joking or high on her meds but it was obvious after today that it was a genuine admission.

 

I could ask her about it later but all Sydney really needed now was a friend and someone to be there for her and maybe also a cuddle pillow sometimes. I’d be willing to do that for her not just because I loved being in her company again but also because she had been there for me many times. Now it was my turn to be there for her and refuse to hear her futile excuses that had distracted me previously.

 

So I got up and headed to the ICU ward to where Sydney was probably sleeping. I found her sitting up and staring out the window. She didn’t seem to hear me as I walked nearer. Not even when I was right before her and had even clumsily hit my toe against the bed.

 

“Hey” I said finally.

She slowly turned her head in my direction. A somewhat startled look on her face.

“Hi” she said sheepishly.

“What’s up” I said while leaning against the bed trying to check her stats myself just in case.

 

“I’m fine Maggie, You don’t have to check the monitors or anything. Besides the doctors came in an hour ago.” She said a little tightly.

 

“Uhuhm, well in my experience, a lot can happen in an hour” I looked softly at her. “So what were you so immersed in?”

“Nothing really.” She said unconvincingly. She gingerly took my hand and started tracing patterns along my fingers.

 

“Can you get them to discharge me now?” she said and looked pleadingly up at me.

 

“What?” I couldn’t believe she was actually asking this now. I know she had hit her head, probably very hard but this was a very foolish and pointless request. My eyebrows were raised in disbelief.

 

“Please, I hate being cooched up here like some sick thing.” She pleaded.

 

“I hate to inform you but you ARE a critically injured woman right now. Albeit a very hot one even with no hair.” I would miss her hair but I was certain it would grow back quickly. “So, you will just have to stay here for a little longer.”

 

“I can’t Maggie, my limbs are aching to be used and each time I ask the doctors if I can take a walk they look at me like I am crazy. I can’t do this anymore.” She had tears in her eyes and her voice was breaking slightly.

 

“Hey, Hey. It will be ok. You will be able to do that soon. I think that everyone is just really concerned for you. Currently you don’t have a 24 seven nurse at your beck and call so I understand why they don’t want you to get out of the bed. Maybe it’s fear that you might fall or trip.” I pulled her in for a hug.

 

“Will you be my 24 seven nurse then?”

 

“Haha, I will consider your request. I will come again to visit you tomorrow. I really need to get a good sleep and get some proper food in me. I’m sure you will forgive me for leaving you just for a few hours. Who knows maybe I’ll sneak in later tonight and join you since the large bed is nothing without an extra heater.” I winked at the latter.

 

She smiled briefly before scrunching up her face and staring out the window again.

 

“So what did your girlfriend have to say?” I couldn’t help but ask as I was extremely curious myself.

 

“Nothing important really. She said she was sorry for our fight and hoped I would be able to forgive her and that we could talk soon.”

 

“Syd, that’s great news!” I tried to sound enthusiastic even though my heart wasn’t in it.

 

“Please, the only good news is that you are here. Now if you are to leave me here while you go out and eat delicious food and sleep in comfy beds.. I demand one thing!.”

 

“oh, and that is?.”  I questioned.

The banter we had kept up those two years ago seemed to be back now at full force.

 

“A goodbye kiss” she looked up defiantly at me now. Her expression was one of I dare you.

“Syd, your jaw.” I said trying to avoid it as I knew the action would set loose all those butterflies and a few other things I had so desperately tried to conceal and lock up.

 

“So what, it will heal. So will you chicken out or…”

 

I didn’t let her finish her question and leaned in. Soon her lips were responding with equal passion and enthusiasm. I tried my very best to be gentle even with the soaring passion that was coursing through my veins at her touch and those familiar lips on my own. I tried to keep it short so as to spare her any pain but she was having none of it. She deepened the kiss somewhat insistently. I felt her tongue inside my mouth. Playing dominance wars with my own tongue.

 

A deep growl from within sounded out of nowhere. I was soon left with a shocked expression on my face as Sydney pulled back only to burst out with laughter.

 

“Ok, ok, you can go now Maggie. Get some food in you and have a good sleep.”

 

I was breathless and couldn’t think of any words to say. Not that I could say any. My tongue was tied in oh so many ways.

 

“Uh…..Ok.” I said eventually. Keeping my words short so as not to embarrass myself further. “Sleep well, Cya tomorrow.”

 

I practically tumbled out of the room into a very busy ward, hustled through the many patients on weak knees and finally flew out of the hospital in an embarrassed flurry. What had just happened? Was it a dream? Was it my imagination playing cruel tricks on me? Or was it real?

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to give it away that Sydney was indeed not really asleep xD
> 
> Hope you like it!! Thanks for all the encouraging comments and ideas for my other fics :D Much, much appreciated!


	5. Confessions of a Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie ends up at the motel.....

 

Through means I hardly knew myself I found myself in a warm comfy bed. Immediately sitting straight up, I glanced around me at my unfamiliar surroundings. The last memory I could manage to recall were soft lips on mine and an insistent tongue demanding attention.. I felt my cheeks flare up at the recollection.

 

The room itself was scantily decorated but yet had a homely feel to it. It was a small room with a large bed and couch and a tiny bathroom. I got up to get a glass of water and that’s when I saw a figure sitting in the couch.

 

“Ahah, so you are awake, Miss sleepy head.” Said a female voice from the chair. I couldn’t place it at all and squinted my eyes trying to see better in the dimly lit room.

 

“Excuse me” I said cautiously while taking a step forward.

 

“I won’t bite, you should know that by now, Maggie. Well at least I’m trying not to.” It was her light chuckle that relaxed me. I wasn’t amongst strangers, abducted or lost.

 

“Hi” I smiled and continued my journey across to the tiny bathroom.

 

Coming back with a glass of water and pausing briefly at the couch, I considered whether or not to go back to bed or to sit up a little and get to know Mrs Katz more. I was tired but somewhat curious about this intriguing family. I sat down next to the older woman and sipped my water silently.

 

“So, how is Sydney” Hannah was trying to be as calm and nonchalant as possible but her shaky voice belied her true feelings and emotions.

 

“She is doing better. I think that maybe tomorrow you can go visit her.” I was convinced that Sydney was fully on the path to recovery.

 

“That is most excellent news. It was well worth me staying up and trying to sleep on this most uncomfortable of couches.”

 

Maggie laughed. “Oh, come on it’s not that bad. At least it has springs in it still.”

 

“It may not be that bad, but for sleeping this thing is definitely not made for it.”

 

“Hmm”

 They both sat staring into the darkness in silence. Probably contemplating events, decisions and what effect everything would have on their lives.

 

Maggie was interrupted from her thoughts with a touch on her knee.

 

“Sorry, I called your name three times without response.” Hannah said carefully.

“aha, I must have been lost in daydreaming.” I said feeling a little self-conscious.

 

“It’s no problem. I have your full attention now don’t I?”

“That you do. Though I can’t promise anything. Whether or not this bed is comfortable or not, I may end up sleeping in it anyway.” I said in between sips.

 

“So, tell me about Sydney.” She looked at me briefly before continuing. “I don’t know much about her these days. Mostly due to my stubbornness as you well know.”

 

“Hmmm,” I was staring at the floor now. Sydney. There was so much one could say about her. Between her amazing intelligence and dedication to her craft and then her persistence in continuing a course that was set to her even giving up her happiness just to impress or keep others happy. Her fleeing tendencies that I hated oh so much. Her proud exterior that hid a vulnerable and incredibly soft soul.  The Sydney that only I seemed to get glimpses of. Well that may have changed lately.

And then there was the stoic part of Sydney had couldn’t stand firm against my constant stream of jokes and silly insinuations. There was also the shy Sydney that believed she didn’t deserve happiness and therefore would always settle for less. There was also the passionate side of Sydney that wasn’t only limited to medicine and her work. The one that I desperately wished I could see more of but was maybe just a little bit nervous at this possibility actually becoming real.

 

“Well, where should I start? Your daughter is just so amazing and there is so much to tell about her.” I paused and watched Hannah’s reaction. She didn’t flinch instead urged me to continue with a nod of her head and genuine smile.

 

“How about you tell why you are not together?” Her expression was not harsh or condemning but rather curious.

 

I stared at her for five minutes not knowing what to say. I took a deep breath and tried to clear my suddenly scratch throat. “Well, Uh, your daughter is a runner.”

 

It was true and probably the easiest explanation.

 

“But if she had not run, what would you have done?”

 

“I tried, I honestly tried. Look I know this is hard for you so you don’t have to talk about it now.”

 

Hannah Katz placed her one hand on my own. “No, my dear, I have to learn to love my daughter again and to do that, I must learn to love what she loves. Though I might have seemed blind to many things I certainly wasn’t. And the way Sydney would come home to family dinners and only be talking about you nonstop even with Herschel present, it reminded me of how she had been with Neshama. A mother knows things.”

 

I felt a little unnerved now and a little bit uncomfortable. “Ok, I honestly did not try hard enough but I was convinced that she didn’t feel the same about me as I did about her.”

 

“hmm, the young can be really foolish sometimes.” She said and squeezed my hand gently. “I think Sydney felt the same about you and that’s why she kept running.”

 

“But why didn’t she ask me? She never once thought that I mattered enough to ask me how I felt.” I asked with despair and many years of hidden pain laced into my vocal chords.

I probably knew that Sydney’s own mother wouldn’t be able to answer this question but it slipped out anyway.

 

“Maggie, I am not doubting your interest or connection with her at all but there are still many things you do not know about Sydney.” She held my gaze while I fidgeted awkwardly with my own hands.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well for one, Sydney has always kept to herself. She studied and worked incredibly hard to be a success as a doctor. Not once did she come to me or her father for help or encouragement. She is a headstrong girl. If was being totally honest I think she also has a very low view of herself; therefore she doesn’t think she matters much to anybody. Her parents, sister, and possibly you as well. When she was a teenager, I tried to confront her about it as I know these kind of tendencies only bite back in the later years but she only pulled away further.”

 

“Is she afraid of confrontation then?” I felt my eyelids becoming heavier. The jet lag wasn’t being too kind on me of late. But I was determined to stay awake.

 

“Not exactly. I think she has matured greatly but her fear is probably of rejection and being rejected by her parents and Jewish family and maybe even religion hit her much harder than she made out. So a rejection by you, I can only imagine she did not want to face so she made it an impossibility but breaking you or your heart in the process.”

 

“How can you talk about this right now? Doesn’t it go against your whole being and religion? Aren’t you angry with me now for corrupting your daughter?” I said with wide eyes and pounding heart. I still didn’t understand why they seemed to do an about turn right now. It felt too soon bearing in mind their staunch stance and views they had held earlier.

 

“Maybe, Maybe not. Look she is my very own daughter. Do you not think I miss her more than anything else? It hurts us too even though we seemed so angry and determined before. Each time I saw her by accident I wanted to reach out and take her into my arms. She was suffering alone for only loving someone. Love is not easy. Sydney was a good child who never did anything wrong well besides breaking the family candles that her sister still got blamed for. Now she loves someone and it’s like it’s the end of everything. Who am I to say who she cannot love? My husband and I don’t want to die without making right and regularly seeing her in our lives again.”

 

My expression on my face didn’t seem at all convinced so she continued talking.

 

“One day when you have kids, you will understand. We were told by my husband’s brother to set Shiva for Sydney three weeks ago. My husband refused and a fight ensued between them. I think our hope was that maybe Syd could be corrected in her ways. We happened upon a Jewish Lesbian event one day not long afterwards and though we were still hostile and tried to get away as fast as possible, a young woman stopped us and said she wanted to take us out for coffee. There wasn’t a kind way out of it so we agreed and went along. It was once she told us that all she really wanted was to go home and see her parents who were unwell but they had kicked her out and had told her to never come back. To her parents she was dead and nonexistent. The young girl had tears in her eyes and it was then that it suddenly dawned upon us that we didn’t want to be like those parents, who might never see this wonderful daughter they actually had. We knew that we had to try to make things right with Sydney. It is hard but every day it gets easier.”

 

I smiled a weak smile.

“And we got lucky when Sydney caught the eyes of someone such as yourself. You and your personality are impossible to hate.” She sighed heavily but the smile spreading across her lips was genuine.  “Now I think we should put off our midnight chat and get to bed. You definitely need it more than I do”

 

Hannah Katz got up to go. At the door she paused. “Good night Maggie, sleep tight” she winked and left. I was still sitting in the couch when the door closed behind her.

 

I begrudgingly got up and collapsed into the nearby bed. My limbs ached from the long hours of sitting in the plain coupled with last night’s weird sleeping arrangements but they ached even more from the absence of that small form. Thoughts of Sydney and wondering how she was floated through my mind as I drifted off into sleep yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes there might be.. I'm tired and sleepy. Maybe just a little bit less than how Maggie is feeling.  
> I just wanted to finish this for all you wonderful readers :)
> 
> I hope you like it! ..  
> Five more chapters left.. so much to cover. I want to actually sit down and finish these stories but each time I try.. I get distracted by art stuff. Sorry. I'll try and try again.
> 
>  
> 
> *** it’s so funny most of my chapters end in sleep… LOL what is wrong with me xD


	6. LEAVE!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie takes Syds parents to see Syd.. It’s a stiff and uncomfortable visit as Sydney seems detached and isn’t looking anyone in the eye. Not even Maggie.

 

 

While in the stage between sleeping and waking up, I hear someone knocking on my door. I let it slide for what feels like 10 minutes and finally with a groan I roll over onto my side. I wait to hear the knocking again before getting up out of the comforts of the warm bed. I grab my favourite knitted jersey and put it on while walking to the door hoping that I would be appropriately dressed for whoever is there.

 

A well-dressed couple is standing at the door. They smile at me knowingly but the man seems shocked at my rather ‘undressed state’. He is frowning slightly through his smile. I blink three times trying to recall these people that seem so familiar. It must be my sleepy state and loss of sleep that caused this short memory loss.

 

“We were hoping you would come along with us this afternoon when we go see Sydney. If that is still a possibility of course.” A gruff voice wakes me out of my silent personal debate. The voice is instantly familiar.

 

“Sure, just give me five minutes to get some proper clothes on and we can go there now.” I say suddenly feeling a little self-conscious with only an oversized jersey and my trusted boyshorts.

 

“That will be fine, we will wait for you outside then.” Says Mrs. Katz while she closes the door for me.

 

I’m left to myself and hurry to the bathroom to get a quick but needed shower. I hope that it will fully wake me up as I will probably have to be something of a mediator this whole afternoon. I pray that the meeting will be a swift one and a happy one too.

 

I make it back in record time and we all head to the hospital. I grab a croissant like thing from the hospital cafeteria before we go to Sydney’s room. It turns out to be incredibly tasty and fills the empty void of a stomach I had before coming here.

 

Aaron opens the door for me and they follow a few feet behind as I walk to Sydney. She seems to be sleeping still but when I am within touching distance, I see her whole body straighten up stiffly.

Her face goes white and expression turns grave as she watches her parents walk in.

 

“Sydney” Exclaims Hannah as she walks up to her rather too jovially. Mr Katz follows behind.

“It has been too long” Says Aaron softly, more to himself than anybody else.

They are both standing in front of Sydney’s bed and I could see that they wanted to reach out and touch or hug her but were too scared to do so.

 

I took Hannah’s hand and placed it on top of Sydney’s. I was glad to see that she didn’t immediately pull away and was happy that she left it there but her expression didn’t change.

 

I sighed heavily. This wasn’t going to be easy.

 

Since the time they had entered the room, Sydney’s parents were really trying to converse, get her to smile and ask Sydney how she was doing but all they got were one word answers. Even when I glared at Sydney in an attempt to tell her to be nicer. She was being as cold as ice so it was no wonder that they soon got uncomfortable and told me that they would leave now and see me later this evening.

 

I insisted on staying though.

 

 The instant Syds parents left the room the mood got darker as I stood with my arms crossed and a stern expression of disapproval. After ignoring my presence and obvious disagreement with her handling of things, Syd shifted her body slightly to be able to look up at me. Her expression was none other than defiance.

 

“What?” she said sharply with an edge in her voice.

 

“That was no way to be, Syd! Your parents are trying hard, really hard. They are no longer the ones that despise you” I said sternly.

 

“So what, I’m trying hard to live.” She practically shouted at me but then felt ashamed for her outburst and said in a much softer tone “ I’m sorry Maggie, but It hurts everywhere and their presence wasn’t helping. What was I supposed to do anyway?”

 

“Maybe try to have a conversation with them that is longer than hi or I’m fine. That would be a start.”

 

I let my arms go loose at my side as I walked towards her and leaned against the hospital bed.

 

We sat in silence for a while before Sydney turned over and lay down. She was watching me as I pulled my phone out and started texting someone.

 

“It’s just Alex. She is asking how you are.” I said looking up for a brief second. “See, so many care for you Maggie. All around the world”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sydney mumbled.

 

“Sydney, stop this now! I know you are on meds and in a lot of pain but this is ridiculous. You are acting like a kid who can’t have his cookies!”

 

“Me?” Sydney look indignantly up at me.

“Yes you, who else is in this room besides me?” I demanded to know. “This” I pointed between her and the door and then myself “ is not ok Sydney, sort yourself out before you lose everyone!”

 

“Sort myself out? I’m sitting in a damned hospital bed and have been prohibited from leaving it. Every night I can’t sleep because my back hurts so badly and no amount of pain meds have been able to help it. I stare up at the ceiling for hours on end with this stupid neck brace on. It makes moving a pain. Now I hear that my parents are here. The same ones who told me never to see them again and to never even try to communicate with them. They have probably set shiva for me already so what good is it now to try make right with a ‘dead daughter’. Even if I am not dead now, I might be soon anyway.” I tried to stop her there because this was just her meds talking, but she held up her hand and continued. Her tone was now harsh and unforgiving. “Then there’s the matter of the girlfriend. And then there is you. And I’m stuck in this stupid hospital bed. I’m not acting like a kid and you know it!”

 

I stared at her for five minutes straight letting her words sink in and trying desperately to keep my cool. Her talking about her life as if it meant nothing to anyone made me furious.

 

Ever since coming here, I was trying so hard to keep my feelings out of things and to keep a level head throughout.

 

But this, this was too much.

 

“What do you mean the girlfriend?” I was now the one with folded arms and was ignoring Sydney’s look of warning.

 

“Just leave, Maggie. I’m tired.” Sydney said finally after about 10 minutes of silence. She turned over so her back was now facing me. How mature, Syd, How mature were my exact thoughts just then.

 

“You want me to leave?” I asked angrily not even trying to hide the hurt tones in my voice or the anger.

 

“Yes” was her simple reply.

 

“Fine” I pushed myself away from the bed and walked out of that hospital as if a lion was chasing me all the while feeling tears of rage fall down my face.

I was furious! At this stage I didn’t care that she was stuck in a hospital bed, she had no right to say the things she said or to act the way she had with her parents.

 

I found a nearby bar and drowned my sorrows in a few beers before heading back to the motel. I didn’t even bother about dinner as I barged into my room that night. I slumped into the bed and cried at first with angry tears which eventually lead to tears of a broken heart /

 

I cried myself to sleep that night. It was something I had told myself I would never do again since the last time Sydney had left me without a bonafide excuse. But there was no helping it. Alex was far, far away and apparently unavailable right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the great comments! I am so glad that you are all enjoying the story so much!   
> I apologize for the tears in this chapter. Things will be better I promise. 
> 
>  
> 
> ** little teaser.. Maggie leaves angry and furious. Sydney is a big mess of tears later that evening … Her mother arrives,at first Sydney demands that she leave. She is still crying from her fight earlier in the afternoon.


	7. It's not ok.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Mrs. Hannah Katz visits Sydney alone in her hospital bed. They talk, cry and laugh a little together.

Sydney is staring at the wall opposite her bed. She has been staring at it ever since Maggie left which was now a whole two hours ago.

 

She still can’t believe what she had said and hated herself for telling Maggie to leave in that manner.

It just happened and words were slipping out of her mouth before she could control them. She kept on reaching for her phone to try apologize but only to realize that it (her phone) had been totaled in the accident.

 

The meeting she had had with her now ex-girlfriend had left her in a pretty bad state of mind and then of all people Maggie had brought her parents along. She just couldn’t handle another confrontation.

So she had decided to be cold and unfeeling. Not to mention the doctors had just come in before they had arrived to give her some new pain meds. It wasn’t her fault that they made her more irritable and easily upset.

 

Her hands flexed in irritation but eventually the meds wore off and soon the pent up emotions she had been keeping in were open and raw. The tears slowly slipped down her face which lead to her curling up into a tight ‘ball’ and crying into her pillow.

 

* * *

 

Two days later..

 

She heard the soft footsteps but chose to ignore them. It probably was another doctor coming to ‘torture’ her with yet another pain medication that had unwanted side effects.

 

The steps continue and seem to be headed in the direction of the bed. She turns her head to see a figure she always thought she would never see again two and a half years ago. She blinks twice, three times in an attempt to clear the fantasy from the reality. These meds must really be messing with her mind.

 

Her mother walks up to the bed and takes Sydney’s hand in her own but Sydney pulls away and demands that she leave. Dream or reality she wasn’t prepared for this.

 

But her mother refuses and gently takes both of Sydney’s hands in her own and starts rubbing them to get some warmth in those pale white hands of hers.

 

“Sydney” Hannah contemplates not talking at all after she is met with a blank stare from her daughter.

 

“Is this real” was what came out of Sydney’s mouth next.

 

Hannah Katz smiled as she looked down at her frail but beautiful daughter. How could they have abandoned her? It made her heart weep to think that they had inflicted wounds that would take maybe years to heal.

 

“Yes, this is real. You are real and I am real. I’m here Sydney. And even if you want me to go, I’m not leaving.” Mrs. Katz said through tears.

 

“I love you, Sydney. And I am so, so so sorry for what we put you through and for causing you all the pain that you suffered.”

 

“Hah, this current situation is in no way your fault.” Sydney tried to be funny. Her jaw on the mend from the slap but she still couldn’t smile too much or laugh too jovially.

 

Hannah noticed the lines of tears on her daughters face and slowly bought her hand up to her face. She caressed her eldest child’s face and held it so that Sydney couldn’t avoid her intense look of concern.

 

“What’s wrong?” she asked and wiped a tiny stray tear.

 

“Nothing” Sydney tried to insist that she was fine but the slight trembling of her shoulders and hands gave her away. Soon she was being held in her mother’s very familiar and warm arms.

 

She hadn’t realized till now just how much she had missed this. Not being able to contact her mother or be seen by her had been hard but the worst was missing this motherly love and familiarity.  She relaxed into the embrace and without her permission the tears came gradually down her face again.

 

Her mother just held her without saying anything. It was all the comfort she needed.

 

“I’m sorry for earlier” Sydney apologized genuinely. She felt her mother pause her comforting pattern making along her back.

 

“It’s ok Sydney. We probably deserved some resistance anyway.” She eventually said carefully.

 

She felt her daughter pull away slightly. She let her go. She wasn’t going to be the clingy mother though in all honestly all she wanted to do was hold her not so little baby till things were better.

 

She was about to ask what had happened between her and Maggie when Sydney answered it for her.

 

“I had a fight that day… with two people.” She said brokenly and looked up at her mother expecting to hear rebuke.

 

“Are you ok” Was the reply she got. Highly unexpected so she started at her mother while she gently moved closer and sat alongside her on the bed. She smiled as she felt Sydney leaning against her.

 

“No, I’m not really ok.” Sydney said after a brief pause and staring absentmindedly at her mother’s hands. “I told Maggie to leave”

 

A fresh burst of emotion over this remembrance and she was yet again sobbing in her mother’s arms.

 

Hannah just held her tightly and waited. She wasn’t going to pry but instead she would just be there for her daughter.

 

“I told her to leave and she looked so broken. I know she worries about me but it all was too much. Plus this stupid mediation is giving me adverse side effects. I just want to get out of here, mamma”

 

“I know, I know. We all want you out of here.”

Another bout of sobbing before Sydney decided enough was enough and she pulled her blanket up to cover her and lay on the pillow. Small tears still trickled down her face but the shaking and irregular breathing had left now.

 

“I had a fight with my girlfriend before you arrived on that day.”

Hannah was about to respond when she realized maybe now it was best to just listen. So she listened.

“Then the doctors came and gave me this new pain med. It all didn’t help and so when you all arrived I couldn’t contain all these emotions I was feeling. I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s ok.”

“No, it’s not ok. Maggie is going to leave and hate me forever now. I will forever be known as the childish adult who had a tantrum because they didn’t get ‘their’ cookies.”

She chuckled lightly. It wasn’t a happy laugh but rather a sad one.

 

“Leah and I were together for two years. So it’s understandable that she didn’t want to let me go. But how can I be with someone when my heart belongs to someone else? It isn’t right. I tried reasoning with her but she said it was only an infatuation.”

 

“Maggie?” her mother asked with no judgment in her eyes just quiet acceptance.

 

Sydney nodded. “She then went on to say that Maggie isn’t even gay. That I don’t even have a chance with her because she doesn’t feel the same. She was angry with me for cheating while being with her. I tried Mamma, I really tried to forget Maggie. But how could I. She owns my heart even when I don’t want her to.” She says while clutching onto her pillow and her mother’s hand.

 

“She wouldn’t break it off no matter what I said. I shouted at her. I told her to leave. I said I couldn’t do this anymore. She blamed Maggie for my latest stupid foolish behavior. I told her that it has nothing to do with her. That’s when she slapped me hard on my jaw in a moment of anger. But the doctors were luckily nearby and saw it all. They came running in and immediately pushed her out. It was a relief that I didn’t have to deal with her anymore but my jaw hurt so badly and my emotions were so high strung. Then came the meds and then you know the rest.”

 

“Hmmm, it’s all beginning to make sense now Sydney”

 

“And then I told Maggie to leave”

 

“Hey, Maggie will forgive you. She is just going through some hard times too. Give her some time.” Mrs. Katz said gently and squeezed her hand ever so slightly.

“I have an idea.”

Sydney’s face perked up just a little bit as she looked doubtfully at her mother.

 

“Let’s have a picnic here tomorrow. I will go find all your favourite snacks and we can do it right here. I think I shall demand that they let you sit on the floor. Don’t worry I will bring a blanket.” She looked happy and excited. “What do you think Sydney?”

 

“Ok” Sydney half smiled. Her jaw was still tender today.

 

“So, Picnic it is. I will try get Maggie to come but don’t expect it.”

 

“Huh, nope she won’t ever want to see me again. It’s already been two days since then.” She said sadly while hugging her mom. “But thank you for coming here. I missed you so much, mama”

“Me too, now I would stay here with you for the rest of the night but I told your father that I would be back shortly which has now long since passed. So I shall have to say goodnight, Sydney Baby.” She moved off of the bed and kissed Sydney on the forehead just below the medical gauze that was still covering her skull and head wound.

 

Sydney weakly smiled and watched her mother leave. The meds and her spent mind and body finally caused her eyelids to close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No teasers this time.
> 
> What did you think? Was Sydney's "outburst" justified or not?
> 
> ** apologies if there be typos. I will probably read this tomorrow and be like "why did I post it, it's so bad"  
> I edited it a little


	8. From Girlfriends to Exes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontation with le girlfriend

The next day found Aaron and Hannah frantically scrambling around the local supermarket to find Sydney’s favourite snacks. They weren’t doing a great job as both of them were so stressed out to get this picnic perfect for their daughter. It was only a small sign to show her that they were serious about their change of heart. If they couldn’t get this right then how else would they prove themselves?

 

They were making their way through the savoury snack and sweet aisle when Mrs. Katz phone rang loudly. She looked up at her husband with a concerned look on her face. She didn’t want more bad news and neither did Aaron. She got more anxious when she noted the called id was a certain Maggie. She brought the phone up to her ear with shaking hands. They hadn’t seen Maggie since leaving the hospital.

 

As soon as she had picked up, Maggie started questioning her where they were. She breathed out with relief.

 

“Ok, ok, Maggie calm down. We just went to the local store about five minutes away from the motel. If you want you can join us. We will go have breakfast somewhere and then head to the hospital again if you would like to come with. We are having a picnic with Sydney.” She said cheerfully. She was hoping Maggie would join them but she had her doubts.

 

“I’ll just come with you to the store and then breakfast. I don’t think I can do the hospital again.”

 

Hannah must have looked really sad as Aaron started to pull on her sleeve to find out what was going on. “Ok, will see you soon then.” She said happily though a part of her was weeping for Sydney.

 

 

Time would heal wounds though. She just hoped they had enough time.

 

Soon enough a familiar laughter greeted them while they were both debating on which item Sydney liked better. Aaron was insisting on something that Maggie by chance knew she hated. While Hannah was trying to extoll the merits of another item that Sydney actually didn’t like much at all.

 

She handed them each a packet of Pizza wheels and pulled out a packet of Mars Bars from her pocket.

“She loves these” she said flatly while looking at the other items in the trolley.

“Do you approve of the rest then?” Said Hannah. She was worried now that they might not have enough since maybe they didn’t know their daughter after all.

“Yes, everything else she will love, I think.”

Mr. Kats chuckled and patted his wife on the back. “Let’s go pay and then breakfast. My stomach is killing me with its emptiness.”

 

“Mine too” said Maggie.

 

While they were paying, Aaron walked out in search of a nice café or restaurant to suit their hungry state of mind.

He waved at them to follow him as they walked out of the shop. Maggie immediately offered to carry the packets when she saw Sydney’s mother struggling a little with the bulk of them all.

 

The Café that Aaron had chosen was a little bit out of the way and rather small but so full that they had to wait for a table. They were all more than happy to wait especially after delicious smells wafted their way.

 

By the time they got their own table, Maggie had already decided on her starter, main and dessert. She had it all planned. Hannah laughed as Maggie told the waiter her order with an extremely serious face.

 

The Mr and Mrs Katz just ordered a grande omelet and a cappuccino each. Maggie’s three course meal took longer to make so she was left to watch as the other two dug into their meals. They had offered to wait but Maggie was insistent that they continue before their food got cold.

 

Maggie had ordered a very unusual meal of cheese on a croissant with a starter of yogurt and fruit and ending with a chocolate croissant. She finished it off with a tiny expresso shot. She was not at all amused when her current company snickered amongst themselves at her particular tastes.

 

They were sitting enjoying their second cup of coffee.

 

“Did Sydney ask me to come?” Maggie asked while nervously playing with her loose hair.

 

“She didn’t think you would want to. In fact she maintains you will never want to see her again.”

Sydney’s parents didn’t miss the look that Maggie gave her at hearing this. Her expression was unreadable though. Something new for them since Maggie had always held her heart on her sleeve since they met her.

 

“That’s nonsense.” She finally mumbled and called the waiter again. She ordered another shot.

 

“Well, that’s what she said.” Aaron put his hands on his wife’s in an effort to quiet her as he watched Maggie.

 

“Maybe, it’s best I just leave anyway.” Maggie muttered to herself.

 

“No, Maggie. You can’t just leave when it’s not easy.” Just as she was going to continue, Maggie held out a finger in defiance.

“Why not, that’s what she does every time.”

 

“That doesn’t mean it was or is the right thing to do” Aaron put in. It was the first time he had said anything since arriving at the restaurant.

 

Maggie was silent as she glared at her now empty cup.

 

“Maggie, we know this is really hard for you and that Sydney definitely hasn’t been handing things well but you must know that she cares about you way more than you think.”

 

“Coming from you that’s classic” Maggie retorted. It seemed despite her easy countenance she still hadn’t accepted their change. “Look I just want to go home.”

 

Everyone was silent for a while. Hannah and Aaron stared at their cups and hands trying to find something appropriate to say but came up with nothing.

 

“Maggie, can you take a walk outside with me, please” Hannah finally spoke. She asked kindly and was half expecting to be ignored.

 

But Aaron wasn’t going to have this it seemed.

 

“Whatever you want to say you can say now” He said.

Maggie nodded her head to this. “I agree”

 

Hannah sighed. She had only wanted to spare her husband getting angry at someone. But there was no way around it.

 

“Ok. So the day we went to visit Sydney, I think we all can agree she was not her usual self.”

 

“Maybe that is her new normal” Maggie said bitterly.

 

Hannah ignored this retort and continued. “Well she also was rather pent up and on some heavy meds. But she had also just had an argument with her girlfriend.”

 

“I figured so much” interrupted Maggie angrily.

“Just let me finish, Maggie” Hannah sighed ever so softly. “Sydney wanted her to leave but she would not. From what I heard from Sydney was that voices were raised and finally her girlfriend, Leah, slapped her on her cheek.”

At this revelation, Maggie immediately stood up but a hand caught her. “She didn’t want me to tell you this as she already says she ruined whatever she had with you but Maggie, she loves you and deep down you know that. Now sit down again. You are not going anywhere, especially with how you are thinking.”  


She looked worriedly at her husband whose cheeks were going red. Maggie had her arms folded and had a very agitated look on her face but she eventually sat down again.

 

“So can we all just forgive Sydney and look past it and maybe give her a second chance at this picnic. She deserves it after all she gave me and my husband a second chance. All thanks to you Maggie, so please at least just come along?” She looked at Maggie pleadingly.

 

Maggie was just staring at the salt and pepper pots on the table. Unaware of the question directed her way and unaware of the confused, worried glances her way.

 

“She slapped her”

 

“Yes, but that’s not the important thing here” Hannah tried to redirect the conversation as she saw both Maggie and her husband tense up.

 

“She slapped her even when she is in such a state?” Maggie’s eyes were open wide and she was staring out the window.

 

“Maggie, Listen to me. We need to show Sydney that we are here for her. Stop dwelling on that.”

 

“How can I not” She all but shouted.

 

Aaron shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He agreed fully with what his wife was saying but the fact that someone had been so violent to someone in such pain already was beyond his comprehension.

 

“Will you come with us, Maggie” Hannah asked again.

 

She got no response from Maggie who seemed to be in another world.

 

Their breakfast bill was sorted out and a sad looking Hannah left with Aaron behind her. Maggie hadn’t said a word since her last retort. She was remembering her argument with Sydney and how now that she knew the full story it was actually herself that was the more immature of the two.

 

A feeling of being unworthy of Sydney kept on emerging in her mind.  Her words kept on echoing through her conscious.

 _“Sydney, stop this now! I know you are on meds and in a lot of pain but this is ridiculous. You are acting like a kid who can’t have his cookies!”_ and _“This is not ok Sydney, sort yourself out before you lose everyone!”_ on repeat.

 

How could I have been so harsh especially after the previous visit where she had clung to me as if her life depended on me.

 

I was startled by the sound of a bell and looked towards the café door and of all people, it had to be HER.

 

I watched as she walked across the small café and sat down at the table next to mine. Was she purposefully ignoring me or had she honestly not seen me?

 

I got up slowly and walked towards her table and promptly sat down in the empty chair opposite her.

 

She looked up from her phone and frowned when she recognized me.

“So we meet again” I said flatly without any emotion.

 

“I suppose” She responded with a marked tone of warning.

 

“How could you?” I bunched up my hand and hit the table with my fist.

 

That got a reaction. She looked me up and down as if to seize up my threat.

 

“What do you mean?”

How could you slap her when she is in such a position? I just want to know what was going through your mind then.”

 

“Well, let me spell it out for you. I’m furious. My girlfriend of nearly three years is demanding that we break up because of you who she knows very little about. And honestly what chance does she even have with you. You are not GAY” Her voice growing gradually louder as she spoke.

 

I could hear people moving turning to listen to us and our commotion.

 

“That’s not for you to decide”

 

“And it somehow is for you? I’m her girlfriend not you.” Leah said aggressively.

 

“I somehow think your title is ex-girlfriend now” It gave me great satisfaction to say those words almost like a weight I had been holding on to was now gone.

 

“Hah, just wait. Time will tell. She will come running back to me in time.”

“Leah, I am sure you are a wonderful person and that Sydney might have loved you but with what you have become, do you honestly think anyone would fall for or stay with? For goodness sake, you hit someone who is lying hurt in a hospital bed.”

 

I got up and walked out of the café. I finally knew what I would do.

 

I didn’t hear the footsteps following me though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be all over the place and a total mess, if so, I am sorry. I wrote it at various stages today. I'm not exactly sure where I am going with this as I'm trying to include your suggestions and it's hard to fit it all in with my initial plan OoO


	9. Say you don't love me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The picnic and some other events...   
> This chapter was inspired by the song 'Aces' by Cheryl Wheeler

I walk with a heart set and mind made up.

 

The sight that meets me is unexpected and I can’t help but ache further.

 

In the middle of the hospital room on a warm, fluffy and colourful blanket sits Sydney. She is surrounded by soft pillows of numerous colours. She is smiling up at her mother who is doting on her while her father is handing out freshly bought coffee. A slight blue tint can be seen on her cheek. I gulp trying to hold back those angry emotions and take a step forward.

 

 It seems that what I thought was a silent step wasn’t at all as they all turned to look in my direction.

 

My eyes were only set on one face in the room and I watched as she went deathly pale. I felt confused. Why did my appearance elicit this reaction?

 

“What are you doing here?” Mr Katz asked rather gruffly and stood up from where he was sitting. I was about to respond when I realized he was walking past me.

 

I quickly turned around and of course there Leah was. How had she even got in was beyond me.

Sydney’s sudden loss of colour was now making sense.

 

Mr Katz towered above Leah who looked like she was about to cry.

 

“I just want to see her one last time” She asked with desperation.

 

“I don’t know if that is such a good idea” Aaron said firmly.

 

“Please, I promise I won’t hurt her and she won’t have to ever see me again if that is what she wants.”

 

I felt like my life had frozen and all I had to do was watch this interaction.

I watched with horror as he considered her request. “ok, but only five minutes” he said sternly.

 

I tried to protest but nothing came out. I watched as she walked up to Sydney. Hannah protectively put her arms around her daughter who was leaning into her.

 

It shocked me that something that probably could have been great had all of a sudden been cut short. I vowed to never break another relationship again if I could. Even as much as I disliked Leah, I felt sorry for her and somewhat to blame for the nasty breakup.

 

She knelt before Sydney and reached over to gently touch her but Sydney only moved away from her touch.

 

“Syd, I’m sorry. I really messed up. I don’t know why I allowed myself to become so bitter. I just wanted to say one last goodbye and apologize for everything I put you through these last few months.” Her smile seemed bittersweet.

 

The guiltiness hit me again. This was all my fault! All of a sudden my determined reasons for being here were falling away. Yes, I cared for Sydney dearly but how was I much better than Leah after all I had said and after breaking what might have been a good relationship. Who was I to now be here again?

 

I was about to make my quiet retreat. I thought no one would notice. But I had no idea that currently Sydney’s eyes were on me. If I had seen her face as I took that first step, I would have never done it.

 

But alas my retreat was never to be as I felt a firm but still gentle hand grip my arm.  I turned to look at him trying to plead with eyes only to let me go but he just smiled and held on.

 

So I was forced to stay and watched as Leah said her final goodbyes to Sydney. I couldn’t dare to look at Sydney herself so settled for watching Leah instead. There were no hugs, no kisses just a look of desperation and regret as she paused before looking one last time at her once lover.

 

 

I blinked away some tears that I hadn’t even known were there. I was gently lead to join them.

I couldn’t make myself look up incase my eyes found Sydney’s so I just stared at whatever was below me. I was handed various items to snack on and a cup of steaming hot coffee.

 

I reached for one of my Mars bars since I had this sudden craving to have something familiar.

 

Just as I was pulling back I felt a cold weight on my hand. Frowning I looked down to see what it was half expecting it to be a jug of water but definitely not a hand. Especially that hand.

 

I couldn’t help my sudden intake of breath.

 

“Maggie, thank you for coming.” Sydney said. I supposed she was looking at me and hoped I would look up but I couldn’t. I didn’t feel that I belonged here anymore.

I just nodded my head in confirmation.

 

She slowly pulled her hand away. I hated how its absence made me feel though. But I hated how I was feeling too. An internal war was beginning and how was I to pick the winning side.

 

I was sure my presence and that of Leahs ruined the picnic but as we all walked out, minus Sydney of course, Hannah and Aaron took time to confirm that it had been a great success and that me being there had brightened up Sydney’s day even if it had been overshadowed a little by her ex.

 

Despite myself I found myself looking back one last time at the person I felt so much for in the hospital bed. I found she was staring right at me. I quickly turned back and caught up with the parents.

 

 

Once back at our motel, we enjoyed a delicious dinner together. Hannah and Leah had a skype chat with Sydney. They had bought her a new phone and had set it up for her earlier that day apparently. I didn’t dare to join them in case I gave away my feelings, so I locked myself in my room and pulled the pillow up close. I wasn’t crying tonight. Only thoughts and memories flashed through my mind.

 

I don’t know when but sleep finally overtook me.

 

The next day I spent doing some sight-seeing with the excuse of clearing my mind. I was grateful they had allowed me this since hearing that Sydney would be discharged today. Their thoughts were otherwise occupied. They didn’t think it too strange that I didn’t want to be there when she came out.

 

I was so glad that these parents were not like my own mother or late father. If they were my retreat would have been found out.

 

I had decided that I needed to go home. I had called Alex and though she had told me she thought it best for me to stay she said she would support any decision I made and would be there to fetch me if I decided to take the flight home.

 

So I did do some visiting of important sights just because I had doubts I would ever end up here. I spent two and a half hours exploring the town of Jerusalem and then another hour shopping in the large malls of Tel Aviv. I was determined to find something for Alex and possibly Dawn for covering and allowing for my impromptu leave.

 

Within an hour I found myself at Tel Aviv international and standing at a service counter waiting for my ticket to be printed out. I had already had my luggage checked in. It was with a heavy heart that I took the ticket and walked towards an open sitting area. I had so many hours to wait for my flight home.

 

I grabbed a nearby magazine and tried to immerse myself in it. Tried to think of anything else other than hazel green eyes staring back at me. I was half successful.

 

I had somehow managed to get through two such magazines when I noticed a shadow hovering over me. A sudden irritation spread through my body. I had no patience to deal with flirtatious men or women or anyone for that matter. My determination to follow through with my decision to leave was already hanging on a thread.

 

I looked at the feet first. They seemed familiar.

 

The clothes were hanging in most places as if they were way too big for this person. I was still sitting when I looked up at the face of this stranger. It was none other than Sydneys. She had an oversized black beanie on her head but I could never forget her eyes or her lips.

 

Was I now dreaming yet again? I frowned slightly trying to comprehend the real from the dreams.

 

I saw slight movements of Sydney’s slips as if she was trying to say something but she was struggling to get words out.

 

Finally a voice broke the silence.

 

“Maggie, you can’t leave!” She was staring at me. Her eyes were murky either with pain or tears. I couldn’t tell the difference. It was weird for me to see her out of a hospital setting which was all I had known for the time I was in Israel.

 

“You can’t” she said again. Tears were now falling freely down her cheeks.

Feeling self-conscious and guilty for making her cry, I got up from where I was sitting and moved forward. I hadn’t planned to offer my arms out but it just happened. I watched as my own body wrapped itself around Sydneys been as careful and gentle as possible. It felt unreal but yet so real my heart was breaking from within.

 

“I have to. I only ruin things” I whispered into her ear which was now very close to my mouth.

 

“You don’t Maggie. Please. For me, stay.” She begged while still clutching on to me.

 

“I don’t love you Syd.” I said weakly hoping she would let it go.

 

“Then say it to my face.” Was her brave response. I pulled away reluctantly and started to say those words I knew would break her into a million pieces.

 

“I love you” was all that came out. I tried to say it was a mistake but she knew. She could and had always been able to read me.

 

I crumpled into her arms. Funny how she was the one who was just out of hospital and here I was needing her for support.

 

I felt other arms around us. I could only assume it was her parents worried that Sydney would fall or just wanting to be near.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, what do you think so far?  
> Do you want more chapters or should I end it on the next chapter?  
> Sorry if you thought that Leah was evil but she just got lost in jealously and anger. It happens so I wanted to give her a decent farewell.
> 
> **I wanted to have a version where Sydney comes running to Maggie... at an airport. Ok, not running but anyway, same concept.


	10. Sleeping Beauties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reunion of sorts

I couldn’t honestly remember much of that day. It seemed too heavenly to be real but yet I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

 

The only thing I remember very well is her scent wafting around me wherever we went.

 

The taste of her lips.

 

Her unusual hearty laugh.

 

Her funky beanie that would always catch me unawares. Yes, I missed her beautiful locks of red hair. Sydney without hair was like an ice cream without a cone. But even so she was beautiful and her hair would eventually grow back. Just like our relationship would this time, hopefully, be fruitful.

 

 

Sydney’s parents were extremely kind as we headed back to our designated motel.

 

We were all sitting in the backseat of a cab, squished but enjoying the closeness of being near Syd.

 

 

 I thought I might be in for a lecture of sorts as Sydney was now dozing peaceful against my shoulder but alas they just smiled at me and handed me a well-worn paper.

 

I stared at it for a few minutes not really understanding its purpose or meaning.

 

“Open it” said Hannah Katz enthusiastically while nodding her head in an effort of further encouragement.

 

So I did. I was half scared of tearing the contents but finally two small slips of paper dropped out and landed on my lap.

 

I cautiously picked them both up.

Together they read. “She is running.” And “I love her”

 

The latter had me smiling slightly but I was still confused as to what this was.

 

“She gave them to us this morning. She was too emotional too speak.” Aaron said carefully. He was frowning ever so slightly but with concern not disapproval. “That’s how we got to you just in time”

 

Hannah was grinning brightly at me now. She reminded me of Sydney who had an uncanny likeness to her mother and it was most evident when she smiled. “Well, we almost didn’t make it. That taxi driver was really a dangerous driver.”

“Hmm” I ducked my head feeling a little bit self-conscious and guilty for being such a chicken.

While looking out the window I replied “I’m so glad you came to stop me”

“Indeed” They both said together.

Hannah took my hand in hers. “I think Sydney is the most grateful though” she turned to look at her sleeping daughter. “She looks so happy even in sleep.”

 

Yes, indeed she did. She was curled up against me and held onto my one arm.

 

“Maggie.”

“Yes?” I was still watching the sleeping beauty.

“She loves you, you do know that right?” Aaron asked with a very serious look on his face.

Words left me though.

 

“I know.”

A slight tender smile from Hannah. “Even if you are a woman, we couldn’t have asked for someone better than yourself.”

 

Aaron nodded his head in agreement after a few seconds of consideration.

“Promise me you won’t do a Sydney and run again and that you will take good care of her?”

 

I laughed somewhat bitterly. This wasn’t going to be forgotten.

 

I looked up at the two concerned parents. They were awaiting my reply with earnest expressions on their faces.

 

“Sure, if you promise to never ever condemn her again and to fulfill the role of her parents.” I said cheekily but was as genuine as ever.

 

I kissed Syds forehead lightly and whispered words that only she could hear (if she had been awake).

 

We arrived at the motel and Aaron insisted on taking Sydney out and bringing her to my room. He gently layed her down on the bed as if he was carrying porcelain.

 

I watched him look fondly at his daughter before turning to go and wishing me a good night.  Thanking him I turned back to watch the sleeping form on my bed.

 

What had I done to actually be so lucky to have her alive and right here in ‘my’ bed? With a grateful heart I slid into the bed and carefully wrapped my arms around her whispering prayers up to heaven that I could do this till my living days ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided that I will continue this story but just in parts. So next part will focus on how Syd and Maggie started over again in Israel and how things progressed from there. Thinking 15 chapters now so there will be a lot to look forward to. 
> 
> Thanks so much for your thoughts and ideas. I greatly appreciate them!
> 
> This chapter is rather short.. but hopefully sweet .. a little break from angst hopefully * btw I won't have major angst from now on in the rest of the story. They had enough so far hehe


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